Don't Be A Girl About It

Warning: This post has a lot of photos. All photos were taken by the selling agent, Raina Johnson, owner of DiGiulio Properties.  

This weekend I listed my house. During the listing and photography, I was completely without emotion, which made me wonder whether this is not as bad as I think it should be, or whether I'm just too f***ing crazy to be aware of what a mess I currently am. I believe it to be the latter, because when I saw the actual listing advertising that somebody else is welcome to come and live in my brown house with the blue door, well, that's apparently the moment the shock was ready to wear off and sorrow tackled my ass smooth to the ground. 

But I am mighty proud of her, all fixed up. She cleans up nice, and is still cleaning up, as there are about ten small things that still need to be done before I am finished. The house can be shown while they are being done, because they are simple and hardly noticeable. Except washing the ceiling in the sunroom or putting the boxes in storage. Houses are selling quickly in my neighborhood. The last two sold in less than a week.

 

In taking you on this photo tour, I am going to try to skip over where all the sadness happened, and just give you what fills me with love and pride. 

Like that my wasband and I painted this front door, which was one of the things he looked at me like I was crazy for when I declared I wanted to do it. Then it made everybody really happy.

I have that white Ikea chair and ottoman for ten years, so for people who doubt that their furniture can take a licking, it can. I've purchased two sets of white covers for it in ten years, but that's kids, dogs, and me - not the chair. Also, it's rare that there are no dog toys on the floor, since we put his toys away at night and he takes them all back out in the morning. 

This is my favorite thing to look at in my house. The chest on the left was a bow front I hunted down and painted olive green to complement the table. The console that the TV is on I hauled home from Fayetteville after an Oops trip. The Chinese men on the mantle and the three monkeys under the TV are my absolute favorite pieces of blue and white I own, both gifts from FA. As is the big oil painting."Big" is an understatement. The TV is 40" or 42", and the painting is bigger.

I always intended to replace this cheap-o Home Depot light fixture with something antique but painted a bold color. I'll keep that project on the bucket list for my next place. That sideboard was my godmother, Aunt Soupie's and I remember where it was in her house when I was growing up. The four prints on either side of it are from the George Rodrigue Cajun collection, and if you know those,  you're impressed that I afforded four of them. Really, I bought a coffee table book of them on ebay and cut out and framed my favorite four.

My kitchen is never, ever this clean. Ever. This was a shuffle to get stuff out of the shot. I still have not found where my mom put the hand soap, and there were screwdrivers and a wrench in my drawer with towels and potholders. There are two monkeys holding soap dishes on their heads in this room. I wanted to paint the lower cabinets a darker, mushroom color, but cabinet-painting is a huge undertaking.

I insisted on this picture from the kitchen looking through the room, past the laundry area and into the sunroom. I really think it highlights the functionality of the house's layout.

We used the sunroom as a media room for the boys. We will miss this space most of all. My neighbors have all said they wanted to this house to be for sale when they were looking at the neighborhood because of this bonus room. What you cannot see is that that media center holds a TV, a computer, an Xbox and a Wii. And that the cat is lolling about in the chair off camera.

I'm sorry. I have to get a little Eeyore here. I had JUST gotten this room finished to where I loved being in it, and then it became The Saddest Room in Baton Rouge. As soon as a contract is signed on this house, I'm selling this bed and giving away the bedding and matching drapes. Contact me now if you want to reserve it.

Master bath is never this clean. I keep my hair dryer, flat iron, all brushes and hair products in that left sink. That's where they live. Two monkey dishes in this room too. Always hated these leather-frames mirrors and the silver and gold fixtures, so I hope somebody guts this bathroom some day.

My babies' room. A little bitching here too, please. They love their room. I love their room. Their parents built those headboards for them and I covered that chair and those lampshades. I'm so indignant they have to leave their space, the first space they have really owned in five years.

By far, the most consistently disgusting room in the house is the upstairs bathroom. Because this is a) where they pee in the middle of the night and b) where the litter box is (under the sink with a hole cut in the door for access.) A cup of vinegar cuts down the ammonia smell of Geriatric Cat Pee. Thank you, Pinterest.

I wanted this picture to show all of the storage in this hall - two closets with rods, one linen closet and the HVAC closet. Also, because behind the door at the end of the hall is the apocalypse that is My Sister's Room. Currently not only unsuitable for photography, but uninhabitable. Due to be cleaned out by tonight.

I loved our little backyard. Perfect for dogs chasing squirrels and little boys on stumps conquering their enemies. The backyard is fully-fenced, and we have an automatic gate in the driveway, so Murphy could be safely confined to this space.

I had drawn up a floorplan to do space planning when I bought the house, and I asked Raina to include it in the listing. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out a house's floor plans just from the pictures, and this will (hopefully) make it easier for interested buyers to picture their things here. In my house.

Does anybody know how long it takes for one to stop driving by their old house to see who's in it, what they're doing, and what they did to your house?

We still do not have a solid plan for where we are going. No point looking at rentals, since I do not have a timeline for when I will be able to rent. Not currently prepping to buy something, because unmarriage is unpleasant on the credit score. I have full faith in my ability to know what to do when it's time to do it. My instincts have always served me well, though my strength to follow them has often failed. I'll know where to live when it's time to live there.

In the meantime, TWO BOYS, ONE DOG, ONE CAT, ONE MESSY SISTER AND ONE DROWING MOTHER are supposed to keep this house in a CONSTANT state of ready-to-show. Pfft. I'll be hauling a laundry basket full of Crap We Need out to the car every morning, and back in the house every night.