The End of Another Birthday Season

Jake's and Landen's moms are Birthday Blowout people. There were fetes and extended jubilation in both our houses. My birthday celebration starts the day after my sister's birthday, so March 5, and extends a week past mine, to March 17th. Jake and Landen have benefitted greatly from this. What's more, due to geography, the marital status of their parents and the Gregorian calendar, for these particular children trumpets herald the anniversary for nearly a week of what can only be defined as a birthday festival.

 

Favorite wreath ever, because I made it. And drank an entire
bottle of wine pinning those balloons on individually.

Their Texas grandparents do a birthday dinner and presentation of the gifts on the visiting weekend that falls closest to the birthday. Their parents present them with a dinner of their choosing (we did this under the same roof this year and hopefully the tranquility continues for years' forth), a homemade cake they request and their big birthday gifts. I have done three birthdays for each of them, and nary a one has the birthday fallen on a weekend opportunity for a party for their friends. So there is a THIRD celebration that includes some activity that costs us more money and their friends.

 

Landen's home party was first. He wanted pizza, as he is one of those kids who could accurately be described as a pizza eater every day, and German chocolate cake. He didn't eat the cake, because he thought German chocolate icing was just coconut, and was surprised to find pecans.  He asked for a scooter, which his dad found him, and I bought him the helmet and pads he asked for so he could learn to ride his skateboard. His interest in that lasted less than seven days, so clearly that was money well spent. He still rides the scooter, though.

There's a chance I make the children pick up the paper mess from their own gift opening.
Also, Murphy loves a good a$$hole photobomb.



Some scooter assembly required, preferably by a uniformed paternal unit.

The birthday party was at a skating rink, where Landen went once on a summer camp field trip LAST summer, awarded himself the title of Master Skated, and demanded, in July, that his February birthday party be held there. And could I please tell him what day and time so he could tell his friends to come when he started school.  Turns out Landen is all heart, but he's no master.

   

Jake will try anything once, maybe twice, before he says
"Screw this, I'm going to the arcade."

Rock wall, which for $5 a kid, everyone gets to do ONCE.

I finally, after three years of trying to convince somebody to do it, got to order
one of those pull-apart cupcake cakes.



It cost me hundred of dollars for six kids to skate for one hour and use the
party room.

I do not want to do these $300 facility rental birthday parties any more. I would rather spend that on gifts and a trip for three friends to dinner and a movie, both of which I would let them do at the table next to me or the row below me. They do not need to blow out candles and sing "Happy Birthday" with their friends. They do that at home with us. I think I'm putting the kibosh on these next round.

 

Jake's birthday is in May. He turned twelve. Sh!t. I'm two years away from Complete Hell On Earth. We reserved the YMCA party room and a lifeguard and scheduled a swim party. At $125, this is comparable to dinner and a movie for several children, so I would be willing to do this again. It rained all week leading up to his party, which was on a Friday evening, and when we woke up that morning, it was drizzly and cold, in MAY. Press on we did, though, because the pool was heated and they would move us into the gym if it was storming. The sun peeked out in time for the swimming, but the 82-degree pool only held them for 45 minutes before they were ready to move indoors.

 

Jake hates icing, and every year he refuses a cookie cake and I have to remind him that
the other children will expect icing on a cake, crazy as that is. So he lets me order a real
cake, and I have a tray of chocolate chip cookies on hand for him.

Jake has a friend with a brother Landen's age. However, I'm sorry to say that Landen
is obnoxious as the non-center of attention at Jake's parties.

We all know my son faces many challenges in daily function and socialization,
but this group of Catholic school kids is so sweet to him.

They write him funny notes using inside jokes and nicknames.

And the prettiest girl in the sixth grade, around whom Jake acts like a total lovestruck fool,
came to his party.

Last night were the home festivities for the birthday. Their dad was out of town for a death in the family, but was able to participate in the presentation of gifts via Facetime. It was cool because his Florida grandmother and aunts got to watch him as well. Jake's big gift was a cell phone - not an iPhone - which we had previously said would not be awarded until he started high school. We decided when the unmarriage was happening that a cell phone would a) possibly help him mature a little; b) bring him into a new social dimension with the kids at school and c) most importantly, make it more convenient for his dad to check in with him every day.

 

He was very surprised and obviously disappointed.

Along with the cell phone, he got a movie, some hand weights, and a display hanger for his taekwondo belts.

 

Do you have a "negative attention is attention" kid at your house? I do. We have a major attention craver at our house. The psychologist said that when families split, it will exacerbate the already-annoying behaviors of a child. This is it. If something is not about him or he's excluded, he will confidently insert himself into the situation to make sure he's acknowledged. We're working on it. A month ago, I hooked up an iPod touch with text messaging, so they could text their dad and grandparents, and me when I'm at work. They've been sharing it, and have not had a knock down about it yet. Instead of being jealous that Jake got a cell phone, Landen was jubilant and claimed total ownership of the iPod.

 

A different way to look at it may be that Landen finds something to celebrate
in almost any situation.

I make a chocolate chip pound cake that Jake requests for all his special days.

And so concludes another year of kids' birthdays. Another year of their parents standing in a corner bitching amount how much money they have to spend on their children because they're worth it. Another year of whispering about how much we dislike Other People's Children (doesn't everybody?). Another year of not sleeping for two days before the party anticipating that no children will come. I am not a "where has the time gone?" parent. I am a "Wow, I'm really starting to enjoy the person you are becoming" one.

 

And "OMG, we can have ten months before we have to do this again."