A synopsis of the week ending October 8, 2010:
1. The boys have strange spots on their uniform shirts, which are white, thank you STA. This is really just a small example of a bigger question - where the hell do little boys find all this schmutz to get all over their clothes?
2. I can call Murphy until I'm hoarse and thoroughly embarrassed in my new neighborhood and he acts like he doesn't hear me, but Corey can whistle from any distance and he'll come.
3. Last night I was cooking dinner and trying to get Jake to finish his math homework. Then after dinner both boys had to study. I paid my sister $20 to clean my kitchen. And I fed her dinner. Don't you want to be my sister?
4. I did three loads of laundry yesterday. I slept in the bed with my three loads of clean, unfolded laundry last night.
5. Landen's bed got broken, in a completely humiliating event whereup Landen and I were bouncing on it and it broke. So I had to disassemble Landen's broken bed, the pieces of which are still sitting in the hall waiting to be taken down to the trash. Because both bed needs to match, Jake's bed was also disassembled and the intact pieces stored in the attic. The new pieces of both beds will be delivered next Thursday. I can't wait to put that shit together, by myself.
6. Lily has decided, in her advanced age, to become an outside cat. She goes out when Murphy goes out, only she stays much longer. This scares the shit out of me because I don't know if she's safely in the house when I need to leave. And then what if she can't get back in?
7. I need a really tall ladder to put the light bulbs in the flourescent fixture in the carport. I also need another set of hands because I don't understand how those bastards plug into those holes up there.
8. I haven't gotten to sit on my front porch and drink a glass of wine yet because my dog will scratch at the dining room window in a panic to come outside, which he can't because he runs away. A scratching, whining dog prevents any serenity and relaxation.
9. I can't believe I've made it so far through this year without developing a substance abuse problem.
10. We had a lesson in our house about pinworms this week. I caught one of them not washing his hands after a pre-dinner shadoobie, and the proverbial shit hit the fan. I waited until everyone's food had digested before we had a full lesson on the perils of walking around with even a smidgen of poop on your finger, which ends with worms literally coming out of your butt. There were Google images involved. We don't take this lightly.
11. When you have major hyperactivity and oppositional behavior spewing out of your backseat and your little fried Friday-afternoon self wants to take them to a restaurant instead of going home and cooking, if there is a little voice that you can hear amidst the constant talking and indignation in the backseat warning you not to take these children in public, LISTEN TO IT. Seriously.
12. I made a poor decision of sunroom rug. It's on the path into the house from the door we all come through and it's not going to hold up very long. I'm going to have to make a financial commitment to a durable rug. My newfound cheapness does not feel happy about this.
13. And all this really started because I got all stupid over a really cute drummer in high school and couldn't shake it.
But on the bright side, Landen came home with the Scholastic Book Club order forms this week. I used to live for the book fairs and the book order forms in elementary school, and Cydney and I went all ridiculous over the book shopping. Landen picked sharks, Scoobie-Doo and monster plants. I picked some other shit for him, in addition to the books he wanted.
Jake is a werewolf this week. His reward for finishing his math homework last night was my acquiescence to his request to drink milk from a bowl. Whatever works. These are not your children.
I love, love, LOVE listening to Jake and Landen upstairs, giggling and playing in their big room in their own house. They asked if we could slumber party in my new big bed. I pretty sure that the days of them actually asking me to do things with them are numbered, so even though I really don't believe in children sleeping in their parents' beds, I can't say NO to a slumber party invitation. Or any invitation. I understand they are limited and we must carpe diem them.
Having children is not unlike waiting for the cute boy or the most popular girl to ask you to sit with them at lunch.
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