Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Official Chili Recipe for People Who Don't Eat Ground Meat

Could also be titled "Cooking Chili that Picky Eaters Eat."

I do not eat ground meat. Any of it. Ever. This means I do not dine on breakfast sausage, hot dogs or hamburgers. It makes me a social pariah at cookouts and tailgates. It means I have to be quick and creative in the kitchen because the easiest weeknight dinners are spaghetti, lasagna, tacos, chili dogs and hamburgers. I love beef, chicken and pork in their boneless, slab forms. Just don't put it in a grinder and then make me cook it. I often substitute chopped chicken or shredded beef in recipes.

Enter the chili dilemma. Who doesn't love a good pot of chili? Over Fritos with a bunch of cheese and spiced-up sour cream on it? I certainly do. So for the last four years I've been looking for a chili recipe that did not have ground meat it in. Every one I tried was unsuccessful - either because it just tasted like beef chunks in well-flavored tomato sauce or set our orifices ablaze at both entry and exit. This was the exact day I learned that the smaller you chop something, the more intense the flavor. So when you put a couple of honking big chipotle peppers in the food processor and make them a paste, you'd better ready yourself for the Fiery Colorectal Rejection that will occur before bedtime. I thought I was going to have to run Corey by the Emergency Room.

The losing streak ended Sunday.

I found this recipe for Steak Chili at Tasty Kitchen, and decided to try it (judging by the quantity of chili powder), but I could tell there were some tweaks I needed to make to the ingredients. On Sunday, at the same time that we were painting the "B" side of our front door navy blue, I was testing a chili recipe. That knowledge of surrounding activities should explain why I took a picture in the middle of prepping the ingredients and then did not take another one. At all. Until I put leftovers in a bowl two days later.

Steak Chili, Allbritton-style

2 pounds chuck steak, cubed (I used a tender chuck, less fat)
2 tbsp vegetable oil
Season salt
Black pepper
Kosher salt
1 whole large onion (I used red)
2 jalepenos, without the seeds
4 cloves of garlic
2 tsp Adobo sauce (from a can of chipotle peppers)*
3 tsp cumin
3 tsp coriander
1/4 cup smoked paprika
1/2 cup dark chili powder (not ancho)
3 cups beef stock
1 cup tomato sauce
1 cup beer
2 tsp sugar
3 tbsp cornstarch
1/2 cup water

*An important note about texture: If you like your chili chunky, you should chop the onion, jalepeno and garlic and use one cup of diced tomatoes with juice. If you do not like your chili chunky, use the tomato sauce and finely, finely (almost puree) your onion, jalepeno and garlic in a food processor.* 

*A more important note about spice: This is of a medium spice. We do not eat chipotles in this house, because of that screaming hot entry and exit I mentioned earlier, so I used only the sauce from the can of chipotles. My mother put cayenne pepper in everything we ate growing up, so my spice tolerance is the highest in our house, and I. cannot. handle. the. chipotle. The adobo sauce is quite spicy. Extra beverages were poured at our table but we could not stop eating it. If you do not like extra spice, omit the jalepeno and adobo sauce entirely.*

After I cube my steak, I dump it in a bowl and coat it with Lawry's Season Salt and black pepper, and use my hands to coat it evenly. In a large Dutch oven, heat the 2 tbsp vegetable oil over medium heat until it shimmers. Add half the beef, turning until brown on all sides. Remove to a plate and cook the rest. Remove all meat from the pot, leaving the oil and cooked fat. Put the onion, jalepeno and garlic, either finely chopped or chunky, to the pot and cook until soft. (That's about 90 seconds for finely chopped and five minutes for chunky.) Add the adobo sauce and cook for one more minute. Add the cumin, coriander, paprika and chili powder and toss around for one more minute. Add all of the beef with juices and turn to coat.

Pour in the beef stock, beer, tomato sauce (or diced tomatoes) and sugar and bring to a boil. (Your instincts will tell you to add salt, but you should wait.) Once the pot starts to boil, turn the heat to your simmer settings (mine is 3.5 on my electric stove) and put a lid on the pot, but leave a vent for the steam. Cook for two hours, stirring every half hour or so.

After two hours, you need to taste it. Then you should start salting it. I prefer kosher salt, which is less salty than table salt, and ended up using three big pinches, which is probably a little over a teaspoon. Start small, taste, and keep adding until the flavor explodes in your mouth. When you like the taste, cover, vent and cook for another hour.

By this time everybody on your street can smell that you have cooked chili, and they will be trying to get in your door to eat it. You may need to leave a bat by the door. After the tortuous three hours are over, the meat will be shreddable, so I used my potato masher to just push on it in the chili and get it to shred. Worked like a charm. If you find that, after you shred your meat with the tool-that-has-many-purposes-beyond-its-name potato masher, you would like a thicker chili, which I did, mix a few tablespoons of cornstarch with 1/3 or 1/2 cup of water and add it to the chili. If you use a thickener, you will need to bring it back up to a boil, stir it for a minute, then turn the heat back down.

The recipe says you should serve it with some shredded cheese, a dollop of sour cream and some green onions, which sounds just divine. I would typically put fritos UNDER that combination. Corey, Jake and Landen all crumble Saltine crackers into theirs. On this night, I made an accompaniment to my chili, and was ostracized by my entire family for doing so. I like food more than they do, so you'll want to listen to ME and put your chili over these here mashed potatoes. I did not use any milk and went instead with seven tablespoons of butter, but if you're not adventurous, or you did not eat pats of butter as a kid, you should stick to the low-butter-add-milk recipe.  THEN you put all that in a bowl. . . .


And reject the judgment from your husband, your children, and your seester and ENJOY your steak chili over your cheesy chili mashed potatoes. Stand up for what you believe in.

I believe that anything is better with some taters in it. 

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