Adventures in Wreath-Making

This post could also be called “Crafting with Wine.” Or, most accurately, “Sh*t I Will Never Do Again.”

No, it was not that bad. It was tedious. And it took forever. And the outcome was neither symmetrical or perfect, which are two unrealistic outcomes I strive for during every DIY project, the unsatisfaction of which is the reason why this is not strictly a DIY blog and why I do not craft for a living. I’m not going to tell you not to do it, because it was simple and relatively inexpensive. I will share with you why I hope this wreath lasts me forty years so I do not have to do this again.

Me loves ornaments. Specifically red and silver ones, which are the only ones allowed to join the festivities in my house at Christmas. Last year I wanted an ornament ball wreath for the front door, but splurged on a wreath that is so bodacious my children had to open the front door all the way to come inside. It is the Fat Elvis of Christmas wreaths. I worship it.

This year with the addition of our uber-fabulous turquoise front door, which my short, walking, talking units of testosterone and boogers still think is odd and does not match our house, I resolved that I would make a red-and-silver ornament ball wreath for the front door. Because buying one from here or from here would have been too simple and impersonal, and I’m all about personal touches.

The opportunity for a seizing of creativity came two weekends ago, when the boys were in Beaumont and Corey was in New Orleans for a class. This girl hauled off to Hobby Lobby to score some supplies at 6:30 on a Friday evening. I know women are supposed to be “gatherers,” the historical term for “shoppers,” but I defy that characteristic because I hate to shop. Order your supplies from Target. I bought 130 PLASTIC red and silver and white ornaments of various finishes and sizes, all half off, and a straw wreath, which you will leave the plastic on. The hot glue melts and fuses to the plastic on the wreath, so there is some extra hold there. You can also use a foam one, which I’m told works just as well. It’s also probably more visually pleasant from the back.

I recommend you start here, but this step is completely optional.

You have to pull all the little tips off the ornaments and throw them away. I glued ornaments in a circle all the way around the outside of the wreath, standing them out where the tip used to be. I wanted a wreath as wide as I could get it.

I did the same thing around the inside. It is not going to matter if the ornaments do not meet up perfectly. That gap will be covered when you fill it in.

Stability in your wreath, which at this point is floppy when you pick it up, is achieved by putting a dot of glue between each perimeter ornament and sticking them together.

After you wreath is stable, start filling it in. I could have done it a little tighter, but I was trying to make 100 large ornaments work. My bad. I could have used 110 or 115, but by the time I realized that, Hobby Lobby was closed.

Now, I will blame it on my frustration and partial boredom at this point that that pictures stopped, because this is around the point that I realized that I did not have enough ornaments and since Hobby Lobby was closed, I would be schlepping back over there on a Saturday.

I wanted it to be more than just round sparkly ornaments, but could find no inspiration for what that extra glitz should be. I hung it on a door and looked at it for a while before going to bed.  The next morning, I braved Hobby Lobby for twenty more small ornaments and some accents. I ended up with a silver "Noel," a red reindeer and a white snowflake. I also bought a wooden "A" and modge-podged some candy cane wrapping paper to it. All of these items are stuck to the wreath with high temperature hot glue.

There are about 150-160 different sized ornament balls on this wreath and there are STILL holes. I just got to the point where a) I could not add any more and take myself seriously and b) realized no one would see my small holes from the street.

For the size, which measures about 28 inches across, the $50 I spent on it it way less than I would spend for a similar wreath of a smaller size from my favorite Christmas stores. It may have to be an indoor wreath next Christmas. We will just have to see how it holds up. So far, in the six days it has been on the door, I've only had to replace two ornaments that fell off, and closer inspection revealed they were not glued that well to begin with.

I am getting much braver on the crafting. Look out, Martha.