In 2009, we took the boys to the beach for Easter. Last year Corey was deployed and we did not go. This year, we decided early on that we wanted to go back to the beach and started looking at affordable condo rentals instead of the four of us roughing it in a hotel room for 4-5 days. Easter Sunday happened to fall on the one-year anniversary of Erin's passing, so we gave the boys a choice to go to the beach for Easter or stay with their mom's family and observe the anniversary. They choose beach and returning with shells to place on their mom's grave.
I get very stressed and pissy before I travel. Planning, packing, readying the household for an absence and making sure the furchildren are pampered while we are gone almost sucks the joy out of any roadtrip for me. It stresses me the hell out packing up four people and a dog to go see my parents in Jena. At one point last week (it may have been on the day we were packing to leave) Corey called me a dragon. Not untrue, but also not helpful.
We left after work on Thursday and got to Okaloosa Island (between Fort Walton and Destin, FL) around 10 PM. Landen slept the last part of the trip while Jake watched Thundercats, Season One. The condo had a bedroom, bunk beds built into the hall and a sleeper sofa. The boys went for the bunks the first night and the sleeper sofa after that. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were beach days. The schedule went like this:
9 AM - Wake up and eat breakfast (this was actually the time they were allowed to wake up the parents.)
10 AM - Covered in sunscreen, head down to the beach.
11:15 AM - Move from beach setup (chairs and umbrella came with the condo) to pool to rinse off.
11:30 AM - Return to condo for lunch and rest
1:00 PM - Trek back down to beach, sunscreened, with full load: two beach bags, two folding chairs, ice chest, sand toys, body boards
4:00 PM - Pack up beach party and return to pool
4:30 PM - Return to condo to shower, put on clean pajamas, watch TV, eat dinner and then Little Debbies (except Saturday night when we went out to dinner)
It's the best beach schedule and I highly recommend it.
We had a yellow flag on the first day, which was manageable, and a red flag on days #2 and #3. The waves were rough and big and the undertow was strong. The boys were only allowed in the water when one of the adults was in the water or standing at the water's edge. Corey bought them body boards at Target and Jake really took to this activity. He would let the waves separate him a bit from his dad and his brother, stay shallow, and ride the hell out of that tiny Sponge Bob body board. It was very intense to watch him, so methodical in choosing his waves. Our oldest is nothing if not focused and intent on activities of his choosing.
Landen preferred to be in the water with Corey, trying not to fall down and body surfing in. He had a Sponge Bob board of his own, and would use it with Jake when Corey was taking a break from the water. There was one point when Corey was out alone that the undertow was so strong he feared being washed away, so exhausted was he from trying to fight the pull of the water. So all of the water-activities were very supervised. This is but one of the many differences between coming to the beach with your girlfriends and coming with your children - you cannot cover your face with a shirt and take a nap or devote all of your attention to the latest edition of People.
During the vacation, Landen developed the worst bout of smartassitis I've ever experienced with him. I know it took great restraint on the part of his father that we managed a spankless vacation. At Fudpuckers, I asked him not to play all over the dinner table with his balloon animal, and he said it wasn't OUR dinner table. Sunday night I told him that was his last Reese's egg for the evening, and he sharply pointed out that Corey was still eating candy. He was asked to pick up the bucket of sand toys and carry them up from the beach, and he shot back that he didn't ask anybody to bring the sand toys TO the beach. These are but three of the 25+ that occurred in a four-day period. It was so bad that at one point he was saying he wasn't having fun on vacation because he kept getting in trouble. He rallied, because he managed to go all day on Monday without pissing his parents off. And six hours on the road in a car does not happy families make.
Jake, on the other hand, managed to hold it together all vacation until the car ride on Monday. You see, we do not give him the stimulant medication for his ADHD on days he is not at school. When his father was deployed and he was in extreme emotional turmoil, unmedicated days were the days he would scream at me and I would send him to his room and sit downstairs and cry. He did that to me one time with Corey home to witness it and has not done it since. Now Jake's explosiveness (which is rare) is released in crying big tears for absolutely no reason whatsoever, when he's in the company of his father. So Monday morning was the fourth day since he'd had a stimulant, and he was due. But the time lunch at Cracker Barrel rolled around and he started crying because he couldn't have bacon on his cheeseburger, I knew what kind of day we were in for.
Did you know that there are chemicals in caffeine that trigger the same corrections to neuro-deficiencies caused by ADHD that the stimulant medications do? Jake's medicine that he takes on school days effects his dopamine levels and reduces blood flow in his brain, which allows for increased focus and attention levels and better impulse control. Caffeine does the same thing. So on a Saturday or a holiday or a summer day, when Jake's brain goes wonky, I shove a Coke at him. We have the support of a psychologist and a pediatrician on this. I'm not sure Corey believed me until he saw the heaviness lift from Jake's face at the Cracker Barrel, and now he's a believer. Letting the 53-lb. ten-year-old have caffeine as part of his daily routine is unhealthy and ill-advised, but in a pinch, when shit is getting heated at the Cracker Barrel (or when he's yelling at a nun that her office is the devil's den), caffeine is our friend. Also, since I have a son and a husband who struggle with pretty severe ADHD that heavily effects their executive functioning, the boys' psychologist recommended I read Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning. It explains in applicable and layman's terms how ADHD affects the "command and control" functions of the brain and tricks to modify those behaviors. It's equally applicable to children and husbands. I recommend it to those of you with similar struggles. This has been a public service announcement on educated parenting and wifelihood.
Anyway, aside from the occasional hiccups that any family as quirky as ours is bound to experience when going on vacation (we're no Griswalds), it was wonderful, amazing, enjoyable family time. Thrills me that I picked the beachy coral print for the curtains in the dining and living rooms. My memories of my beach time with my family when I was little are a prized possession, and I am beyond grateful that Corey and I get to give those kinds of memories to our kids. We want to take them on a cruise before Jake is old enough to hate hanging out with us.
We have until about age twelve, right?
I leave you with a slideshow of thirty of my favorite shots of the weekend, in no particular order. I'm only in one of them. I prefer it that way.
Landen preferred to be in the water with Corey, trying not to fall down and body surfing in. He had a Sponge Bob board of his own, and would use it with Jake when Corey was taking a break from the water. There was one point when Corey was out alone that the undertow was so strong he feared being washed away, so exhausted was he from trying to fight the pull of the water. So all of the water-activities were very supervised. This is but one of the many differences between coming to the beach with your girlfriends and coming with your children - you cannot cover your face with a shirt and take a nap or devote all of your attention to the latest edition of People.
During the vacation, Landen developed the worst bout of smartassitis I've ever experienced with him. I know it took great restraint on the part of his father that we managed a spankless vacation. At Fudpuckers, I asked him not to play all over the dinner table with his balloon animal, and he said it wasn't OUR dinner table. Sunday night I told him that was his last Reese's egg for the evening, and he sharply pointed out that Corey was still eating candy. He was asked to pick up the bucket of sand toys and carry them up from the beach, and he shot back that he didn't ask anybody to bring the sand toys TO the beach. These are but three of the 25+ that occurred in a four-day period. It was so bad that at one point he was saying he wasn't having fun on vacation because he kept getting in trouble. He rallied, because he managed to go all day on Monday without pissing his parents off. And six hours on the road in a car does not happy families make.
Jake, on the other hand, managed to hold it together all vacation until the car ride on Monday. You see, we do not give him the stimulant medication for his ADHD on days he is not at school. When his father was deployed and he was in extreme emotional turmoil, unmedicated days were the days he would scream at me and I would send him to his room and sit downstairs and cry. He did that to me one time with Corey home to witness it and has not done it since. Now Jake's explosiveness (which is rare) is released in crying big tears for absolutely no reason whatsoever, when he's in the company of his father. So Monday morning was the fourth day since he'd had a stimulant, and he was due. But the time lunch at Cracker Barrel rolled around and he started crying because he couldn't have bacon on his cheeseburger, I knew what kind of day we were in for.
Did you know that there are chemicals in caffeine that trigger the same corrections to neuro-deficiencies caused by ADHD that the stimulant medications do? Jake's medicine that he takes on school days effects his dopamine levels and reduces blood flow in his brain, which allows for increased focus and attention levels and better impulse control. Caffeine does the same thing. So on a Saturday or a holiday or a summer day, when Jake's brain goes wonky, I shove a Coke at him. We have the support of a psychologist and a pediatrician on this. I'm not sure Corey believed me until he saw the heaviness lift from Jake's face at the Cracker Barrel, and now he's a believer. Letting the 53-lb. ten-year-old have caffeine as part of his daily routine is unhealthy and ill-advised, but in a pinch, when shit is getting heated at the Cracker Barrel (or when he's yelling at a nun that her office is the devil's den), caffeine is our friend. Also, since I have a son and a husband who struggle with pretty severe ADHD that heavily effects their executive functioning, the boys' psychologist recommended I read Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning. It explains in applicable and layman's terms how ADHD affects the "command and control" functions of the brain and tricks to modify those behaviors. It's equally applicable to children and husbands. I recommend it to those of you with similar struggles. This has been a public service announcement on educated parenting and wifelihood.
Anyway, aside from the occasional hiccups that any family as quirky as ours is bound to experience when going on vacation (we're no Griswalds), it was wonderful, amazing, enjoyable family time. Thrills me that I picked the beachy coral print for the curtains in the dining and living rooms. My memories of my beach time with my family when I was little are a prized possession, and I am beyond grateful that Corey and I get to give those kinds of memories to our kids. We want to take them on a cruise before Jake is old enough to hate hanging out with us.
We have until about age twelve, right?
I leave you with a slideshow of thirty of my favorite shots of the weekend, in no particular order. I'm only in one of them. I prefer it that way.
No comments:
Post a Comment