Product Endorsement: Check out this Mean Green Mutha

I have a couch, it's a nice couch. We paid more than we should've for it.

I have a dog. He's a sweet dog. We paid more than we should've practically nothing for him.

You will see in this photo that Murphy likes to chew his rawhides on my lighter-than-neutral colored couch.

In my defense, we got the dog way after we bought the couch. And the couch has suffered. It does not look like it's just one year old. Murphy's bones (which he's been forbidden to eat on the couch for quite a while now) and his dirty fluffy feet have put some sort of gray residue on my couch cushions. I have purchased quality cleaning products and cooked a few homemade ones, one of which required whisking soap with a handmixer until it turns into foam, and the cushions have faded, but the gray remains.

And then I decided (or was I inspired in the aisles of Target), with the help of my visiting Mama, that what my husband really wanted to get me for Valentine's Day, which he celebrated with me in absentia, was this contraption right here.

I purchased, brought home, loaded up, plugged in, turned on and cleaned both sides of my sofa cushions. Let me say that I am not a dirty person. Anymore. I don't usually eat on my couch. I use coasters. It's hard for me to get the cat hair under control so you may find some dust on my cable box. I bathe daily, sometimes twice. I vaccum, wash dishes, take out garbage and share my father's devotion to the Swiffer. We have pest control and our own washer and dryer. We're clean people.

But when you spray a clear cleaning solution onto both sides of two couch cushions and come out with something that looks like this:

all is not right with the damn world. There is injustice somewhere people.

I am happy to report that my cushions, which are now-and-probably-permanently-protected by an unused curtain, are once again the color we desired upon purchase of the sofa, and are residue-free.