More us, less everything else

We spent Easter weekend at my parents. The boys love going there, because they get to wear rubber boots and get dirty and smelly and eat well. I could tell on Saturday afternoon they had gotten a little bored, so I shocked them by declaring that I was taking them into the woods. There are woods by my parents' house and if you follow the right trails, you can come out at the junior high school, in another neighborhood, or at a little waterfall. I could only remember how to get to the junior high, and that requires tight-roping over a pipe eight feet above a creek. That pipe was a LOT smaller than I remembered from twenty years ago, but I did it TWICE, carrying a BB gun, with Landen holding his breath at the other end. I hate nature, the outdoors, and being covered in 50+ mosquito bites, but I am still getting high praise from the boys about how cool it was that I could do that and could we please do it again next time we go to Jena.

Teenage Prayer + Adoption Photo Shoot, My Messy Beautiful

I have a confession, a shocking admission from a liberal, semi-socialist, formerly shacked-up, now single-mothering girl like me…I listen to Dr. Laura. She’s unreasonable and dismissive and wildly hypocritical. I mostly listen because of the morbid curiosity of other people’s problems, but I get very rage-y at her. The last few times I’ve listened, she’s had the poor twisted Mothers of Teenage Sons From Broken Homes who are lashing out and behaving abusively towards the mothers. Dr. Laura’s advice is always to pack their bags and boxes and send them to live with their erstwhile fathers, asserting that the mother needs to Take a Stand and show the sons that they cannot treat women this way without consequences. To show the sons that Mom Is Not Going to Take This Sh*t Anymore and they should not expect their future wives to tolerate such jackassery either.

Nell's Kitchen

When I think about my adoration for houses and interiors, the word "junkie" is the first to jump up. I think I am actually an "enthusiast." I am a Home Enthusiast. If you are a contractor, and you agree to build a house for a Home Enthusiast, you should be prepared to earn every penny you are charging to build the house. A Home Enthusiast knows exactly what she wants, because she has been looking and loving and thinking about what she likes and does not like for a long, LONG time.

Let's talk about my kitchen. The kitchen has the most design elements, is often the room that has the most "pieces," and as I am learning, the room where the upgrades cost the most.

City Mice, Country Mice

"Whatever good things we build end up building us." Jim Rohn

Our next chapter is building a house. This is our dirt, located in a subdivision about three miles south of Baton Rouge, in the "country," adjacent to the small high school we've chosen for Jake.

 

Hello Again, Hello

I have a habit, or a gift I give to myself, that I have claimed since I left the nest. Whether I did it when I lived at home is a question for my mother. I go inside. Because… I am tired. My moods are switching. I am trying to settle myself down. Gather my strength. Remember how to love my kids. Or because the world is so big and so challenging that I need to nap, speak only to the dog, and clean.

I have not blogged in six weeks, and I attribute this to not wanting to be cyber-seen, because I do not have the answers and I’m not great.

It’s not bad, actually. Jake’s physical and emotional health is better and his grades have improved miraculously in the new year, which brings peace to our home. Landen is still learning his lessons the hard way, but the back-and-forth, push-and-pull are consistent, and we get a little better every week. We are crammed in this small condo and we hate it, but they have drawn closer to me. Like they see how hard I am working to make the best of a less-than-ideal situation and change things. And maybe they know I need the encouragement.

Very important lessons in stripping and staining

Another post that I cannot think of a song title for.

 

I have moved more than ten times in thirteen years. With each move, I repurpose furniture. For the move out of our house into the condo, which required some very committed downsizing, I knew that I wanted to use an antique bow front chest from my living room as the chest of drawers in my bedroom. This was the only painting project I accomplished during the sale of the house, and this is one that got worse before it got better.

 

 

Oh Come Let Us Adore....Each Other

"The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.”
~ W. C. Jones

 

Once of my favorite parts about being married and having stepsons was that I had scored myself a reason to do a Christmas card, as previous years featuring the cat and me would have been pathetic. The first year, the list was basically my wedding invite list, and got smaller over the years, eventually being two dozen family and friends. Last year, I found myself without the faculties to put much care and concern into a Christmas card, because with a husband not living a home and a marriage in limbo, who can think of "happy holiday blessings from our family to yours"?  

 

Last year, I phoned it in a little and used Paperless Post, which charges a small fee to send holiday cards via selected (or all) of the recipients in your email address book. The feedback from the emailed Christmas card was amazing, so I went with Paperless Post again for this year's card. The list stays small - grandparents, aunts/uncles, and close friends who have lifted the three of us up so much in the last year that we were able to find joy, naturally, and take a picture that reflects the healing we've done in 2013. Emotionally and physically.

 

My Christmas joys, beyond watching the discoveries that Santa left on Christmas morning and holiday decorating, are these faces. Yesterday I told one of them that if he were grown, I'd punch him in the face, but then we found the joy of chocolate milk together. No harm, no foul. Jake hates Christmas music but loves Christmas lights and Baby Jesus. Landen can off-key a Christmas song right along with me.

 

 

I share this here on the blog for the friends, family, and strangers who come here and read and support us. Because miracles happen, even if the miracle is the ability to smile.  If you have joy, cherish it. If you are missing joy, it's a long walk and a lot of prayer to find, and we hope for you the discovery of it.

 

This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.”
~ Taylor Caldwell (1900-1985), English novelist.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Everything from my boys and me. Our profound thanks and love, even if we've never met you. We know you're there.

 

P.S. Monday is Moving Day.