I have a habit, or a gift I give to myself, that I have
claimed since I left the nest. Whether I did it when I lived at home is a
question for my mother. I go inside. Because… I am tired. My moods are
switching. I am trying to settle myself down. Gather my strength. Remember how
to love my kids. Or because the world is so big and so challenging that I need
to nap, speak only to the dog, and clean.
I have not blogged in six weeks, and I attribute this to not
wanting to be cyber-seen, because I do not have the answers and I’m not great.
It’s not bad, actually. Jake’s physical and emotional health
is better and his grades have improved miraculously in the new year, which
brings peace to our home. Landen is still learning his lessons the hard way,
but the back-and-forth, push-and-pull are consistent, and we get a little
better every week. We are crammed in this small condo and we hate it, but they
have drawn closer to me. Like they see how hard I am
working to make the best of a less-than-ideal situation and change things. And maybe they know I need the encouragement.
