Mah-ma said, "Come on you lazy bum and get your butt outta bed."

If any of you had any doubts from my last post that I am ready for my children to get the hell up out my house and go back to school from 8 to 3 five days a week, let me assure you that I was not kidding. The backpacks are packed and the clothes are stacked. This situation appeared this afternoon, that's how ready I am. Murphy thought they might want to take his Favorite Roadkill to school with them, in case they get lonely.

I think Murphy likes to pretend that thing is the cat. Because when she deigns to come down the stairs and he gets pissed, he then goes and gets this toy and shakes the shit out of it. Redirecting his aggressions with his old and bitchy sister, I suppose. Teenagers.

Anyway, you know how the dryer eats your socks? How about if your uniform policy mandates socks with the initials of your school on them at $5 a pop. With children who cannot put clothes in a hamper and "lose" their socks under EACH OTHER'S beds. I bet after I make them pay to replace lost socks they'll keep better track of them.

The shoes. Landen would like for me to share with Facebook (all of the internet is either Facebook or Google) his first pair of self-selected school shoes. I threw in a picture of Jake's pair so you could get the full effect and see if you can identify the fundamental personality differences between these two kids.

Landen

Jake

So today, the last day of freedom and summer and fun for them, this is how they spent the afternoon. Landen is still under the Disney forbiddance (if that's not a word credit me for making it up) but I did lift the two-hour rule for video games and TV for the day. So he's been in his spot for several hours and Jake has been in his spot for an equal amount of time.

He did not want me taking his picture and he has converted the shoe box to a drum. Joy.

He pulls the chair over to the computer but never actually sits in it.

A couple other fun Allbritton facts I yearn to share with you today. The first is a picture of what Jake's bed looks like when he gets out of it in the morning. We straighten it before he gets in it every night. And every morning he's sleeping on the bottom half of it with covers that make no sense and his head on nary a pillow. I have the same problem with his father, whom I express frequent exasperation with his disassembling of the covers at night.

Against my better judgment, and the care and concern for a special aunt in California who may have a small stroke when she sees this photo of complete disarray, I will now share with you a picture of their closet, which houses their clothes AND their toys.

You can't HANDLE the clutter. Neither can I. That's why the door stays closed. AND, their dad purged about half their toys this summer. Holy shitballs.

And finally, I captured Murphy at his full-time job, standing at the window barking at squirrels, dogs, leaves, walkers, vehicles, flowers and bugs. Sometimes he doesn't even bother to drop the ball that is almost always in his mouth.

Tomorrow I shall post a photo of them all ready for school, and of them getting of the school bus at the corner of our neighborhood, and of our new couch that is being delivered tomorrow. Tomorrow is a good day for many reasons. Murphy is also getting his hair did.